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Mum

Very TMI but I’m sure I can trust fellow mums to not laugh... I’m four months postpartum and every attempt at sexy time has FAILED miserably.

It’s not even that it’s painful (it is) but it just feels like it WON'T go in? I’ve tried everything, even just saying to myself suck it in and bite your tongue but it’s just too painful / impossible… Any advice please?

Don't worry about sharing this, we all go through it in some degree.

After having my first baby I had a few sessions of women's health physiotherapy, which focuses on strengthening the pelvic floor and all the muscles down there. It was really good and helped me a lot at the time. Besides it's really good to avoid future bladder problems as well.

I did it privately with Sixphysio, but I think now the NHS can refer you to someone in their system.

Good luck and you will get there and enjoy it again at some point.

Mum
Mum

This is completely normal! It could be a number of things.

Everything changes down below after having baby, it has a lot of healing to do. This can make the skin tougher and harder to stretch due to scarring/stretching. Ways to help this are:

1. Doing your pelvic flow

2. Perineal massage (you may have done this antenatally) you could do this with some unscented oil and use a small bullet vibrator to help!

It could also be due to vaginal dryness, finding a good lubricant can be hard - a lot of them make you even dryer! Good old KY jelly is the best recommended to use, use plenty of it and lots of foreplay to get you ready.

I find having a orgasm before penetration so much better, as I’m wetter naturally.

Hope this helps.

I totally know how you feel. I'm now six months postpartum and it's still tender and always feels like it's never going to go in (why people say after having a baby it's like having a bucket, I don't know!)

We use lots of lube and make sure he goes very slowly until I'm ready which can take a while but we get there in the end. It will take time but you'll get there I'm sure.

Mum