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Mum

Hi, I have a girl who is six and just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy four weeks ago. I've given him cuddles, fed him, changed him, winded him but he's been awake most of the day. He's probably overtired, but nothing I seem to do settles him and it's the same thing every night at the same time where he just cries and cries and cries. For my own sanity I've had to leave him in his cot with the baby monitor on and literally just let him cry it out. I felt absolutely terrible for doing this but literally nothing I do seems to settle him. He's now been asleep for three hours now after tiring himself out. I'm just wondering if anybody else has experienced this? It makes me feel so guilty and that I'm a crappy mother. My little girl was soooooo much easier and I know you never get two babies the same.

Hi, congratulations on the birth of your little boy!

I know the first few weeks with a new baby can be very difficult and exhausting. It depends on the baby of course, but it's also that the mother needs time to get used to her baby and understand how to offer him what he needs. Be patient, I am sure he will soon get easier with sleeping.

My son was very difficult with sleeping in the first few weeks too. Now I have some more experience, I believe that might have been because his tummy wasn't full - I think he might have need more frequent feeds or something. Could your baby be hungry more often than you were used to with your daughter? It's very hard for them to settle if they are.

I know how hard it can be very to have to leave the baby to cry it out. Have you thought of co-sleeping, especially for the first few weeks so you don't exhaust yourself? Having a six year old to look after too can be very demanding.

Take care of yourself.

Mum
Mum

I literally feel like I could have written this myself about two months ago. I had a girl first (she's two and a half) and she was the easiest baby ever, so chilled out. I then had my little boy three and a half months ago and he is completely different.

Around two to three weeks old, at the same time every night he would literally just cry for two to three hours then it started in the day too. I tried absolutely everything and it ended up being a milk intolerance. I'm not saying it is that but maybe it's worth looking into just in case?

I never thought of that because mine have always been amazing sleepers and it was never through the night only through the day. He's since been prescribed milk from the doctor and is like a different baby compared to what he was. He's still very high maintenance compared to his sister but I think that's just because I have a toddler to entertain too and sometimes I wish I could split myself in half. I hope things start looking up for you soon I know how frustrating and stressful it can be.

You really must be exhausted, bless you. Are you getting any support during the day at all?

You are not a crappy mother. You are a brilliant mother, you did the right thing. It is so important to step away occasionally and take a breath, so you can both calm.

Just a thought, do you have a carrier? You are probably right, at this point he was probably just overtired if he hadn’t slept. Could you pop him in a carrier and let him have some naps in the carrier? Then you can still get on and do a few things and he should have the comfort of being close to you. He will also be upright, so may be more comfortable if he is really windy.

Is there a friend than can take him for a walk in the carrier for an hour, while you have a sleep? Don’t be afraid to reach out to your support network.

I hope your evening is going ok tonight.

Pregnant mum of 3