I feel like since our son was born my husband and I have more bad days than good days at the moment and it’s really getting me down.
We seem to snap at each other over the smallest of things. I’m looking after the little one and doing as much as I can in the house yet he does something and makes a song and dance about it. I told him I felt trapped in the house because the baby is a bit unpredictable with crying etc. He seemed to understand but when I mentioned today moving the car seat from his car to mine as he had to go to work and I wanted to go out to the shops, he said 'why can’t you do it tomorrow, you had all day Tuesday and Wednesday too'. It just seems like I can’t do right for doing wrong.
Please tell me it gets better. I love him and we never used to be like this.
This sounds absolutely normal hun, especially as it’s your first child there's a major shift in your relationship and the time you used to spent together is now you with baby and him on his own. It does take a while for men to get used to the change in responsibility etc.
My advice would be to try and make sure there's something that you and your husband do together daily, and that you don’t give that up by any means. For me and my husband it was meals, no matter what time it was, we would always make sure we had breakfast and dinner together without any TV or distractions and that was our together bonding time.
Also communication is key. Tell him how you feel. Show him posts on social media about the fourth trimester and validate the way he feels and that he’s not alone. To feel lonely is very normal at this stage for all men and that once baby is around three to four months and is in a better routine, things will get better.
It's really important to sit down and talk about the little things. It might not seem like it but it's ridiculous how a little thing can snowball into full-blown arguments. If you explain that you're feeling trapped and need five minutes to yourself, then maybe offer the same to him? Things will get better the more confident you get with baby, and the more you both settle into routines.
Make sure you look after yourself first because you can't look after baby if you aren't coping. Try and get someone else to look after little one when you visit, even if it's just for 10 minutes, while you do something for yourself. Hope you're okay.
We are the same... We love each other but sometimes we snap at each other for small things and we say sorry after. Every couple does go through this. Things will get better. All you need is a day off for just you and him... Give the kids to your mum or a relative to babysit. You need your energy to recharge.