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Mum

Today has been a rough day. Baby is nine weeks, and things have been good so far. For the first time I’ve felt quite down, teary and miss my old life. I really miss being able to do what I want when I want. The last few days have been hard, I can’t get anything done and it’s so frustrating. I feel bad leaning on my mum asking for an hour to myself but I just need some baby free time.

The mum guilt is awful. I’m not really sure what the point of this post is but I’m feeling like rubbish and hoping for some reassurance I guess.

Hi, there are so many things I'd like to say... but I will keep it as short as I can and hopefully give you some comfort.

Firstly, you are not alone. These feelings you explain so well I also had. It's tough, confusing and it feels so overwhelming and unending! Seven months on I can tell you it will slowly get better, it will get easier, time will show you how, trust your journey... but YES 100% seek the support you need to process the change. Your brain needs that hour to just BE! You are adapting.

The guilt is just proof you are a wonderful mother because you love your baby so much. Needing to be away feels wrong, but this is not wrong. Use this journey to teach youself how important self care is. You will not get days off but believe me one hour to just breathe fresh air, to see the sky, to rest will give you head space. You will slowly lose the guilt and go back to your baby feeling refreshed!

Some tips:

1. Watch this: https://youtu.be/jOsX_HnJtHU. It's called Matressence on YouTube Ted Talks (you will feel more 'normal' about what you are going through.

2. Keep talking about this and don't suffer in silence (if you want to, keep dropping me a line) and speak to anyone in your life that will just hear it! Speak to your GP if it feels like it's too much. DON'T FEAR and don't play your feelings down... you will only get the help and compassion you need and make this journey kinder for yourself. There is no judgement here!

3. Sleep! When your baby sleeps... I hate saying this cliche line... BUT do! Take as many small naps as you can, even if they are short! This is a priority, above doing dishes and house chores. Let your body rest. This small commitment you make to try and rest will be good for your mental health.

Finally, (sorry this is long!) one day very soon you will feel like you're OK with your new normal and like you have a new way of doing things, and you'll stop looking back at your old life! Your baby will start to interact more with you and you will feel like you understand that motherhood is a lot of give and take.

Sending you hugs.

Mum