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Mum

Hey just looking on some tips on how to feel and function a bit better.

Let’s start off by saying my baby is my number one priority and she is always looked after. But I just have zero motivation to do absolutely anything at all. I just feel so down. I feel like I’m used to living with my low mood though so I don’t really notice when it’s getting worse. I just feel so sad but I can’t even cry. I’m seven weeks postpartum and I just feel so guilty for feeling so down all the time. She’s growing so fast and I’m not going to have a little baby for long.

My partner hasn’t really shown me much affection either, which I don’t think is helping. Don’t get me wrong, he’s cooking and cleaning for me but I’m not really feeling any love.

Just wanting some tips on how to start feeling a little bit better. I’m exclusively breastfeeding so it will have to be little things that don’t really take long.

Firstly well done on reaching out. I found these early stages really hard and dark too as you are giving so much and don’t get much back.

Your baby is still so little so don’t worry about time passing you by. I think over six months is when they get really fun so we have four months to get you feeling better!

Are you getting sleep? Lack of sleep affects everything and if you can get some naps here and there when the baby sleeps or when your partner can take them can make a big difference.

70% of your serotonin (happy hormone) is released from your gut. You need to feed your gut around 50g fibre which equates to your five fruit and veg a day. It might not be a quick fix but over time it will make a difference.

Getting out for a short walk (with or without baby) in the mornings can really make a difference. Listen to some podcasts (such as Happy place by Fern Cotton) in the house so there is noise for you to listen to along with some wise words.

Can you meet up with a friend who you can speak honestly to? Like really honestly. It can make a big difference.

I think it's worth seeing your GP to review your mood. There are so many things that can help. Talking therapy is more of a long term ‘solution’ and medication can help lift your mood slightly and drown out those negative thoughts. Keep an open mind to them.

I started antidepressants as I felt so overwhelmed at times (such as just getting out of the house) and also having negative thoughts at night. They have made such a difference and have enabled me to really enjoy my kids.

Hope some of that helps.

Mum of 2
Mum of 1

Oh gosh, I wish I could give you a big cuddle!

Have you considered speaking to your doctor? You could have postpartum depression. I've got it, and could never understand why I felt so crap when I have the most perfect wee baby. The way I was feeling didn't make sense at all, but I still felt it!

As for your partner, maybe sit down with him and say that you miss the cuddles, kisses etc. Sometimes you need to be really blunt.

It's so hard but I promise you won't feel like this forever! I really do think you should have a chat with your health visitor and doctor. I waited until I was 20 weeks postpartum and I wish I'd gone earlier! They put me on sertraline which has helped massively.

Know that I'm always here for you. I'm sorry I don't have any quick fixes for you! One thing I do that helps is whenever I'm feeling down, anxious, or whatever, I take deep breaths, relax my shoulders, unclench my jaw etc. Then I look around and find things to be grateful for, or little things like my daughter's pinkie nail, or the way my cats were sunbathing, or the noise the tree over the road makes when the wind moves through it. Tiny little things! It sounds pretty silly and simple but I'd say that doing that has helped just as much as the medication!

I am so sorry to hear you are suffering with low mood.

It is so important to talk about how you are feeling. Being a mum is so hard, and it's so hard to find some time just for you.

While your partner is cooking for you, can you put baby where he can keep an eye and you run yourself a nice bubble bath, put on a podcast or music, or read a book? Light some candles. Even just for 20 minutes or so. Have a little soak.

It's so important to find a little bit of time for you in the day but I know that's so much easier said than done. Do you think your partner can support you in this?

Or you could take a little walk, get out in the fresh air, or have a cup of tea outside. Just little steps.

It's still such early days for you and you are doing so well. The first couple of months are hard. Do talk about your feelings and get support whenever you can.

Pregnant mum of 3