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Mum

I have an estranged relationship with my mother. I'm feeling very isolated and alone. I live with my partner who has autism and he's great. But I feel that there's something missing because I don't have a mother figure. I'm not close with his family and my friends live over an hour away from me. I'm not sure how to cope.

Hi! I might not really be able to help but I just wanted to say: You are not alone! I’ve had problems with loneliness as well when I had my first baby and I still have. Ironically my partner had the same issue.

For me being home all the time, not seeing many people, the change of everyday life and not being able to do something for myself really got to me. My partner had just lost his dad and has a very estranged relationship with his mother as well. So for him it was very difficult not being able to speak to anyone from his family when he became a father himself. It must be very difficult for you having both of those problems.

I am not really good at making new friends, so I can understand if that’s difficult for you as well, especially with a baby. But from my experience, it is so important to talk to people. Call your friends, try to talk to people outside (let it be the cashier in a café or an old lady in the park) or even drive those extra miles to see friends. Or try to do something for yourself - get outside just to get a coffee or something.

I’ve really tried to plan stuff ahead just so I have things to do other than working or taking care of the kids. And I always tell my partner to concentrate on the future - we‘re his family now and maybe our sons will be the ones he talks to every day like he used to with his dad.

No matter what - don’t give up! I wish you all the best! Feel free to message me if you want to.

Mum of 2