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Mum

Hi mummies, I am eight weeks postnatal and really struggling with my older child. My son is seven and yesterday he said to me that he thinks I love our newborn more than him. I obviously explained that his sister can't do things for herself so that's why mummy has hold of her a lot. I told him I love him and his sister just the same. Has anyone else experienced this?

My little girl is six years old and I've been having the same. My youngest is five months and I think my oldest generally thinks I love her sister more than I love her. I have found it a little easier since I started a routine with putting my youngest to bed at seven, that's my time with my oldest. And when my partner's back from work, I try to do as much as I can with her. But I'm still struggling now with giving her as much as I can because my youngest is so dependent. And my other half is away for four days working. It's hard! I don't know whether it helps, but I am going through the same thing.

Mum of 2
Pregnant mum of 3

Aw, bless him! That's so upsetting to hear. New siblings really do impact emotions at any age. Your little boy is experience so much change. When I had my second baby, my first asked for his old mummy back. They don't mean it.

I think doing some mummy things is an excellent idea. Having some time with him before bed for cuddles and stories might help.

You could also talk to him about how babies can't do anything for themselves and that you can help her together. In this way you can be a team and involve him in baby's routine (without forcing - it's ok for him to not want to).

In time he will adjust and will love having a little sister. Just stay calm and be patient. You will all grow together and find a new rhythm.