Tinto logo

Me and my partner adopted our baby. She is currently 15 months old and in the last few weeks she has started this high pitched scream in temper. There seems to be nothing we can do to bring her out of it, she just has to do it herself. Last night, it lasted about 45 minutes with non-stop screaming. We can't talk to her as it'll make everything worse. I feel really deflated and don't know what I'm doing so wrong.

Hi, please know you are doing absolutely nothing wrong! I totally understand how you're feeling, and please know you're not alone!

So, your little girl is at an age where she is starting to find her independene. Often when you acknowledge their feelings and the upset, it helps them calm. It helps them feel heard and understood.

When are the temper tantrums occurring? Does she have many words? It can often be frustration over communicating. Any kind of behaviour is often down to communication. You are right. You cannot talk to them when they are screaming like that and it is so so hard for you to experience.

In this situation. I would say, 'I can see you are really upset. I hear you. I am here. I am here for when you need a cuddle.' Step away, give them a little bit of space. Take a deep breath yourself and go back and remind once you have calmed too.

I have experienced this with my first child and I do understand it is so distressing. We do need to try ad keep ourselves calm too. I hope this helps. Let me know how you get on.

Pregnant mum of 3

My little boy is 19 months old and has done the same thing for a few months now. I think it's just normal toddler development! It's frustrating for them when they can't talk yet, and it's 100 times worse when they're tired. I take my son out in the car and point out things like cars or trees and that usually calms him down. Or I offer him a drink and a nappy change and use the process of elimanation once he is calm to work out what was wrong. Don't feel like you're doing anything wrong because you aren't! It's just a very testing time!