Tinto logo

Why you may have a low sex drive postpartum, and what you can do about it

All relationships go through a period of adjustment when we enter into parenthood. Physical intimacy can take a back seat when there are so many other more immediate needs to be met. And the first thing to say is that that is okay and completely normal.

There are many reasons why you might not feel like having sex after a baby. Coming up is a list of some - but not all - of these reasons. Maybe you’ll recognise some of the things and this will help you feel just a smidge less alone in how you’re feeling. We hope so, anyway. 🥰

  • Complete exhaustion
  • Feeling conscious of your postpartum body
  • Constant interruptions from your baby
  • Struggling to find what feels good in your post-baby body
  • Fear of getting pregnant again
  • Arguing too much with your partner
  • No free time to get in the mood
  • Feeling ‘touched out’ by giving so much of your body to your baby everyday
  • Struggling to navigate sharing your body with your baby and partner
  • Feeling resentful towards your partner
  • Feeling overwhelmed by your partner’s sexual desires
  • Vaginal dryness
  • Physical pain

There is no magic wand that can bring back your sex drive and intimacy. The simple fact is that if you don’t want to have sex, you should not be having sex. But there are things you can try to gradually build a sexual connection with your partner over time (and it will take time):

  • Discuss how you’re feeling with your partner
  • Agree to take sex off the table for a while to relieve the pressure
  • Ask for non-sexual touch, like a hug
  • Find time for self-care to rebuild a positive connection with your body
  • Masturbate, when you feel ready, to rediscover your pleasure on your own